What does being a challenge actually mean? Why should you be a challenge?
Let’s face it, men love a challenge. Whether it’s playing basketball or planning their next business acquisition, men want a woman who makes them work for her attention! They value women who are “harder to get,” and who set healthy boundaries. How do you become a challenge?
1. The most important thing is to view yourself as a prize. You want to truly feel good about yourself and believe that a man would be lucky to have you.Without the internal dialogue of a dream girl, without really believing you are worthy of a great relationship and a man who loves you, you wont succeed with men.
You may behave like a challenge (which is better than being too easy), but if your behavior is not backed up with the internal belief that you truly are a great person and you deserve to be treated with respect, kindness, courtesy and love, then a man may not treat you as such. He will be able to see through your actions to your core–how you really feel about yourself. Remember, we attract who we are and how we feel. If we feel unworthy (even if its an unconscious belief), we will attract someone who makes us feel the same way.
2. Letting a man approach you first and ask for your number (don’t spend the entire night talking to a man, leaving him wanting more. Men know instantly if they want to date you or not so spending the night talking and dancing together isn’t going to change anything, except for the fact that it might leave him bored and he might not call you after that), ending dates first, letting men call you and ending the phone call after a few minutes, accepting dates made in advance, as well as other actions are all ways to become more of a challenge. Remember, man pursues woman. It’s not just in dating, its in the animal world as well. When we reverse this, chaos ensues in our dating life.
You may be asking, what if the man is shy?
Let’s tackle this now. Are men really shy when it comes to what they want? If a man wants to date you, he will ask you out. If you want to “help” him, then be receptive to his advances and smile. Reassurance to a man isn’t asking HIM out or leading, its a smile and confidence in his abilities to do what it takes to ask you out and show you a nice time.
3. Being a challenge weeds out men who are lukewarm about you, who only want to hook up with you or who are bored. Having healthy boundaries and high standards attracts true contenders to you who really like you, are attracted to you and want to date you. And it also gives you space and distance to observe this man before jumping into a relationship and regretting it later on.
Remember, it’s about having a healthy self love, setting boundaries and pacing the relationship. It’s about doing what works with men, instead of doing what gives you instant gratification. If you’re in it for the long haul–a great man who loves you and wants to marry you–then you need to play your cards right. Everyone thinks they are capable of true love (when in fact getting there is like anything else in life. It requires discipline, practice and learning from your mistakes), but the people who find themselves in happy and healthy relationships don’t just do whatever they want. They do what works!
Author: Nancy Salim