It is 4am and I am forced to wake up because my almost 11 months old is teething and he has been fussy lately. He is in pain and he needs a curdle. I am exhausted because I just slept 2 hours ago after completing an assignment that I barely escaped the deadline (a regular Sunday evening activity), I also worked the previous day for about 5 hours too. He starts to kick and whine. My body is a little weak from lack of constant rest despite the fact that I took the last week off just to rest.
I can’t take this I thought, ‘oh no I need to finish the laundry I abandoned 2 days ago, I need to get the house wiped down with disinfectant, I need to sort out my library, I need to make a list for grocery shopping, I need to straighten my hair (I washed it 4 days ago and did not have time to straighten it afterwards), I need to finish up my 5 chapter reading assignment, I need to get in touch with some friends I have not been returning their calls, I need to get some personal work done on the computer, we are running out of food in the fridge, I have just 2 free days (today and tomorrow) to do some bulk cooking, Oh my God mum needs me to get some things done for her, I have not balanced that excel from the sales I made for about 4 months now……….’ The list goes on.
The baby is still screaming and he doesn’t seem to like the way I am holding him, my husband walks in to our bedroom (He has been sleeping in the guest room for some time now because he needs to get some sleep before he goes to his 9-5 job (the main money machine for the family) because our son suddenly hates sleeping alone in his crib, so he has joined us in our bed, Sometimes we both sleep on the floor of the bedroom because my sweet little angel sleeps like a prince ‘on mum and dad’s bed’) to find out what is going on. He picks the baby up who seems to want mummy this time so he cries a little louder, he senses my frustration which I was by this time expressing to my husband. I finally got the baby to sleep and immediately run out of the room in tears; I could not take it anymore it was too much for me. I cried quietly because I did not want to wake the baby up. Hubby comes to comfort me and says ‘he is our joy, please be strong’. Then I thought how stupid I was, what about my married friends who are waiting for the fruit of the womb, what about the ones believing God for a husband, what about the ones that wish they could live my life in ‘America’, what about the ones who wish they had a job, what about the ones who have 2 or more children and ‘Oh my days’ what about my lovely friend who just lost her husband and is left to take care of 2 children……..what about? I whispered to myself ‘please God forgive me, I did not mean to. Give me the strength to move on and I thank you for everything especially for a husband who understands and encourages me.
To all those going through what I am, keep going it only gets better. God will never give us loads that are too unbearable and he will never put us in situations too much for us to handle. Think of better ways to do that stressful task. Tomorrow you will look back and laugh at yourself. Husbands please support and love your wives because they are the roots of your happiness. Take care of your nannies and child minders, shower them with love because it is not easy loving your own baby let alone loving another woman’s baby. My single friends, while you are waiting for prince charming get things done as fast as you can in order to have time for your family, there is a reason why we all go through what we go through. To my widowed friend, once there is life there is hope, it is never over until it is actually over and there is always a reason for life.