Right now someone out there is already feeling their neck get hot at the mere thought of someone stealing their shine on their wedding day like this and, more than likely, there are millions of people who agree with you.
The photo above picked up traction on Reddit three days ago and the title of the subject thread, “Any girl’s wedding nightmare,” sends a clear message that when it comes to weddings there are two things you don’t do: wear white and propose to your long-time girlfriend in front of everyone. Clearly ol’ boy in the teal button down didn’t get the memo, as he not only asked this woman to be his wife at someone else’s wedding, he did so right in front of the bride and groom on the occasion that’s supposed to be their big day. And by their, I mean the bride and groom, not his and his new fiancee’s.
The image prompted Jezebel’s Mark Shrayber to write a scathing read of this show-stealing proposer that stated in no uncertain terms: Only a Classless Douchebag Would Propose During Someone Else’s Wedding. And the fact that my coworker couldn’t even verbalize what she would do if someone got engaged at her upcoming wedding in September when I asked tells me he must be right. But there is a small part of me that’s asking, what’s the big deal?
Maybe it’s “The Best Man” lover in me that remembers how cute it was when Harper proposed to Robin that leaves me unconvinced I would be totally irate if someone proposed on my wedding day. But I’m also remembering that the proposal was spur of the moment and dude up top actually planned this proposal — which is why he already has a ring in hand — and that does make me feel some type of way. Oh, and “The Best Man” was a fictional movie.
Still, I hate the undertone of self-absorption that exists when people expect. to be about them on their wedding day. Yes, we all are here to celebrate you. No, guests shouldn’t purposely distract from the couple on their big day. But people have lives too. As much as newlyweds want the day, from sunup to sundown, to be all about them, it’s just not realistic. That doesn’t mean, however, that guests should make the day all about them in turn and move the focus away from the newlyweds to the newly-engaged.
The only way I can see this act being any type of socially acceptable is if you get the couple’s permission first — or you pop the question when the lone waiter left in the venue is stacking up the last chairs at the reception. Otherwise, proposing on the day that’s supposed to mark someone else’s love — not to mention someone else who’s close to you — is pretty selfish and will likely warrant the stank face so apparent on this bride’s face in the photo above. You can also take that chance and just let everyone cuss you out after they congratulate you. Your choice.
What do you say? Is it wrong to propose on someone else’s wedding day?