There was a time all I wanted to be was a Mrs. It was my ultimate ambition at that time.
I didn’t have to chase too hard before I became one.
When I became a Mrs. I became contended with it and I didn’t want to pursue other dreams I had.
I felt I had achieved something and so I was living my dreams.
I lived under the shadow of my husband.
He worked while I performed the dutiful role of a home maker.
All I did was to wait for him to come home and when he didn’t come on time, I hounded him.
I called him every now and then.
I became a nuisance.
It is because I didn’t have a life of mine.
I was living on a borrowed life.
I didn’t give him space yet he tolerated me.
I didn’t have a job, so he became my job.
I stalked him.
And I knew it wasn’t healthy for us.
I wanted my story to be that of the woman who was behind the success of her man.
You know how we have been told it is honorable for a man to be the success story and not the woman.
My dreams changed to this narrative.
I buried my ambitions.
The society dictates that the man should be the success story while his wife smiles sheepishly by his side.
The society states that, marriage should be the greatest achievement of a woman and child bearing should be the jewels unto her crown.
Our success stories were well scripted and defined by these major characters; Husbands and children. The settings of our life stories were mainly in the kitchen, bedroom and delivery room.
Oh! How I almost missed it?
But my mum pushed me hard!
She kept telling me that marriage was only a small fraction of my dreams.
She never stopped until it became a melody in my ears.
One beautiful morning reality dawned on me and I realized it wasn’t bad writing a success story myself. .
A fire ignited in me.
My passion developed wings.
I defined me.
I took a bold step and detached myself from him.
I understood life better and I knew that marriage doesn’t mean I should stop living.
Being married doesn’t mean the other person should go to sleep.
Marriage is more about two people walking hand in hand together in the path of success.
Don’t let your spouse slave and toil all day while you watch African magic and Telemudo.
Right now, I am filled with regrets.
I yearn for those yesteryears to come back. I weep for those wasted years.
If only wishes were horses, I do ride back in time and go get back the years I threw into the trash can.
Each time I remember, I grieve.
So, this is a clarion call to every woman out there!
Are you newly married?
Have you been married for a while but you have allowed your dreams to go on bed rest because you feel it’s not important?
Probably you are a wife who has sacrificed her ambition on the altar of marriage.
You should have a re-think!
Run your race!
Get on a career path!
Marriage shouldn’t make you think differently.
Your husband’s success isn’t yours!
Pursue your dreams now!
And own it!
Tag someone who needs to read this
Written by Bolatito Adebayo