Certainly a new relationship is often exciting, stimulating, and fun. On the other hand, having a deep, meaningful connection with your partner can infuse your relationship with purpose and meaning over the long run.
In addition, there are several ways by which you and your spouse can infuse your relationship with purpose and shared meaning..
- Share a common dream and vision: Sharing a common dream and vision for life can help you gain a healthy perspective. When couples have that, the inevitable ups and downs of marriage are less bothersome. Creating a larger context of meaning in life, can also help couples to avoid focusing on the little stuff that happens and to keep their eyes on the big picture.
- Talk about your shared vision: Talking about your shared vision brings you closer to each other. Couples who practice emotional attunement ( it describes how reactive a person is, to another’s emotional needs and moods) and “turn toward” one another rather than “turning away” are more likely to be happy and less likely to be headed toward divorce according to Dr. John Gottman.
- Create a daily or weekly practice: creating a daily or weekly practice will enable you and your spouse spend quality time together. Carve out time to be together so you don’t become “two ships passing in the night.” Focus on spending time doing enjoyable activities that bring you both pleasure.
- Implement your shared goals: Implementing your shared goals can help you to be a stronger couple with a purpose. For instance, your goals might include volunteering in the community, raising your children in a positive way or adopting a sustainable lifestyle. Regardless of what your shared vision or goals are, they can strengthen your bond.
Couples who take the time to develop shared meaning and goals are more likely to experience mutual admiration — a hallmark of mature, lasting love. It is something that cannot be actualized by chance, but is deliberately cultivated. It’s important to remember that maintaining admiration for your partner does not mean you put him or her on a pedestal. But it does mean that you like and respect who they are and how they conduct themselves in their world.
Source: Terry Gaspard